After Election Night
by radiation.vibe
Summary: Maggie is still pining for Jim, who has just asked Hallie to move in with him. But does Jim still have feelings for Maggie as well? (My headcannon for what happens between Jim and Maggie in the months following Election Night.)


***This is my headcannon of what happened after Election Night between Jim and Maggie. I don't own any of these characters.***

* * *

"Hallie's moving in?!"

Maggie suddenly lost her focus on the computer screen in front of her at the mention of Jim's girlfriend's name. It was something she did frequently, eavesdropping. Everyone in the newsroom did it. That was nothing new. But Maggie was particularly prone to listening in on any conversation regarding Jim, and doubly so when Hallie's name was brought up.

She made no overt movement to indicate she was listening in, but rather shifted over to the side of her desk nearest Jim's and pretended to write on a notepad.

"Jim! That's amazing! Congrats!" Tess squealed enthusiastically.

"Yeah, thanks…" Jim responded quietly. Maggie could tell just from his tone of voice that he was blushing.

"What's going on?" Neal had apparently just walked by Jim's desk.

"Jim asked Hallie to move in!" Tess explained, thrilled at the chance to spread some office gossip.

"Oh that's great! Congrats, man." Neal said, patting Jim on the back.

"Thanks…" Jim mumbled. Whenever he was embarrassed Jim wouldn't be able to talk without mumbling or stuttering. Maggie used to think that was cute.

"So how did you ask her?" Of course Tess wanted details. "Was it romantic? Did you plan it out? Oh my god, Jim. Are you engaged?!" Maggie suddenly felt all of her muscles go tense.

"What? No!" Jim said quickly. _Whew,_ Maggie thought, which surprised her.

"It's just…" Jim paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to translate his thoughts into words. "The campaign's over, her boss is a jerk, and she was just offered a job in New York. It all came together…"

Tess made a sound that seemed to express the exact opposite of how Maggie felt. "That's so romantic, Jim! Seriously, yes. Oh my gosh."

"Jim?" _Oh thank God_, Maggie thought, hearing Mac call out for him from across the room. "What do you have so far on Nigeria?" she said, placing a stack of papers down on his desk as she approached.

Maggie took that as her cue to get back to work. She tried to get back to writing the copy about Syria, but something was blocking her focus. Deep down she knew exactly what it was. It was the same thing that made her tense up at even the mention of Hallie's name, but she'd been suppressing so many feelings lately about her trip to Africa that she didn't dare dig deep enough to figure it out. Whatever it was, the easiest way to express it these days was by pretending that it didn't exist at work, then going out to a bar and drowning the pain at night with alcohol and casual hookups.

So for now, back to work.

* * *

It was one of those nights where the breaking news was hardly anything new. This meant there was very little for the newsroom staff to do during the broadcast but sit by their computers and look like they were busy. Maggie had gotten hooked on this IQ quiz, and she was well into the third round of questions when she heard the sound of an incoming Skype call coming through to Jim's computer.

"Hey, you!" Hallie said, probably looking all sexy and cute and making Jim blush like a little boy.

"Hey, you," Jim replied. _Yup_, Maggie thought. _There's that blush_.

Maggie couldn't stop herself from listening in. It was totally a problem and she knew it, but she was too invested to stop. At first she listened in because she was curious. This was the girl who took Jim away from Maggie, after all. Her curiosity was satiated quickly, though, as she soon started listening in to try and detect something that would indicate that Hallie was as terrible as Maggie wanted her to be.

The problem was that Hallie was nowhere near terrible. She was smart, funny, nerdy in her own way, and clearly liked Jim for who he really was. This, of course, made Maggie even more determined to eavesdrop. Because there's got to be a fault in this girl somewhere, right?

Maggie sometimes wondered what would have happened if Jim didn't go on the Romney campaign trail. Would he have stayed by her side when she and Don broke up? Would they have finally gotten together? Thinking about all of this was starting to make her nauseous.

"Guess what?"

"What?" Maggie could hear Jim's smile.

"24 days."

"24 days?"

"Until I move to New York, jerk!"

"Ohh, right…" He was messing with her.

Maggie felt like she was going to throw up. She couldn't breathe. _Oh no. Shit. Shit. Not now! _Maggie thought, her panic attack intensifying by the second.

_Roof. Now._

* * *

It was chilly outside, but Maggie couldn't feel a thing. All she could think about was that she forgot her Xanax again and that she needed to calm herself down now before things got worse.

She sat down with her back against the wall by the door, rocking back and forth trying to slow down her breathing. She thought about the last time she was up here having an attack, and how Jim came in out of nowhere and calmed her down like a pro. He was so good at that, making her feel safe and comforted. He had a way of making her feel like she mattered more to him than anything, and she missed that more than she would ever admit. Ever since Hallie came along, Maggie felt like she lost Jim to her. Jim cared about Hallie now, and that's just how it was.

She didn't realize she was crying until she felt a tear drop on her arms, which were cradled around her knees as she sat still rocking back and forth by the wall.

_He's not coming back to me_, Maggie told herself for the millionth time, hoping it wasn't true. _I fucked it up. I did this. I chose Don. I went to Africa. I didn't fight for him. This is my fault._

"Maggie?"

Jim knelt down beside her before she could protest. "Maggie, what's going on? What's wrong?"

She could hardly bring herself to look at him through her tears and embarrassment. And anger. She was angry.

"Go. Away." she gritted through her teeth, trying to suppress the crying.

"Talk to me. What's going on?" He asked so seriously it made her blood boil. _Why won't he just leave me alone?_

"I'm fine. I swear, I just… I just need a second, okay? I'm fine."

Apparently that wasn't as convincing as she wanted it to be, because just then he reached his hand out to her neck and checked her pulse.

A moment went by where neither of them said a word. She didn't have a clue what he was thinking, and she didn't really want to know.

"Don't let me keep you from your Skype date with _Hallie_." She didn't mean to say her name with such obvious condemnation, but that's how it came out of her mouth.

Jim sighed. He looked both worried and frustrated, and Maggie couldn't tell which was worse.

"I thought you were seeing a therapist," Jim said after a pause.

"I was," Maggie said resentfully.

"Are you still going?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Haven't we already had this discussion?"

"When did you stop?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"When did you stop going, Maggie?"

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, OKAY?" she yelled louder than she anticipated, jumping to her feet as her feelings began to boil over.

She buried her face in her hands, rubbing her eyes like she needed to stay awake. Then, dropping her arms to her sides she looked up at Jim, who met her gaze with that look she missed so much, the one that made her feel like she mattered.

"We've known each other for, what, three years?" she said slowly, with the pent-up energy of her anxiety attack present in her voice. "Three years," she nodded to herself. "I've been miserable for three years. I've been fucking everything up from the moment I met you. I stayed in a relationship with a man who didn't love me because I was weak. I forced you to date my roommate because I felt guilty, which fucked up both of our lives and made me lose my best friend for a year. I went to Africa because I was sick of the mess I'd made of my own life, only to have a sweet, innocent boy die in my arms…." She was crying again. "And now I have to live with the consequences of all the shit I've put everyone through. And you know what? I can only remember one time when I was happy. One time when I was really, truly, out of this world happy. It was the night that I lost it in front of that Sex and the City tour bus. It was the moment you turned around after chasing after me. When you kissed me. I've been running on that kiss for twelve months."

Maggie paused to compose herself. She couldn't read the expression on Jim's face.

"I'm happy for you and Hallie, I really am," she said, only half-lying. "But I can't pretend that I'm over you when I'm not. I don't know how to get over you. I don't know how to forget that kiss, and honestly, I don't want to. I've fucked everything up and I have to deal with that, and I don't know why I'm telling you this now, but…" she took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. "I'm in love with you. That's the fact. I'm sorry."

She didn't know what else to say. Jim's expression hadn't changed the whole time she spoke, although now he looked like he was about to have his own little panic attack. He averted his eyes, looking out towards the skyline of Manhattan to gather his thoughts.

"You should probably go back inside," Maggie said after a moment, saving him from having to respond. Saving herself from having to hear his response.

Jim looked back at her, his eyes directly focused on hers. She felt vulnerable, like he was seeing through all of the walls she had built up over the past three years. He moved closer to her, reaching his hand out to her neck. For a second, she almost hoped that he would kiss her again.

"Your pulse is back to normal," he said, pulling his hand away quickly.

"Thanks," she said expectantly, though of what she didn't know.

They stood there on the roof for what felt like an eternity, though it must have been only a few seconds before Neal appeared at the door to call Jim back down to work. With a quick glance back at Maggie, Jim buried his hands in his pockets and hurried inside.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since the incident on the roof, and nothing now felt normal. Jim hardly spoke to Maggie anymore, save to ask a few work-related questions here and there.

She really freaked him out. Confessing that she loved him was something she didn't really know about herself until she said it out loud, and she certainly had no intention of ever doing that. But it happened. She said it out loud, and it scared the shit out of both of them. And now things were uncontrollably awkward between them.

Maggie tried to console herself with the idea that Jim really did feel the same way that she did, but that he was too nice of a guy to break up with Hallie after having just asked her to move in with him. She couldn't really hate him for wanting to uphold a promise that he made to someone who cares about him. But for all she knew Jim actually _was_ in love with Hallie and _not_ Maggie, and that was something she was trying very hard not to think about.

"Ow!"

The muffled sound of Jim's voice carried through the glass walls of Mac's office. Maggie looked up in time to see Mac smacking Jim on the head with a couple of folders and gesturing wildly to the desks outside her office.

She couldn't hear exactly what they were saying to each other, but Maggie had a feeling it might be about her. Or at least she hoped it would be. She always had a feeling that Mac wanted Jim and Maggie to be together more than anyone, and Maggie enjoyed the idea of Mac scolding Jim for being so cold to her over the past few weeks.

Jim looked past Mac and directly at Maggie, who quickly looked down and pretended to sift through a file of papers on her desk, hoping that he didn't notice that she was watching them.

"Um," Jim started quietly as he approached Maggie's desk a few moments later.

"Hey!" she responded too quickly, and immediately regretted it. "What's up?"

"Look, I'm sorry for being kind of distant these past few weeks. Things have been a little crazy, what with…"

"Hallie moving in?" Maggie interrupted, trying to sound friendly and optimistic to cover how awkward she felt.

"Yeah," he said, equally uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry too," she said sincerely.

He looked confused. "For what?"

There was no way to get around this awkwardness, so she thought she might as well just confront it.

"For being distant too. For how awkward it is between us now. I hate it. I should never have said those things to you on the roof. I think it freaked us both out, and– "

"Don't apologize," he interrupted her firmly, looking straight into her eyes for the first time in weeks. "Never apologize for sharing how you feel. I'm glad you did it." For a second Maggie felt a flicker of hope. _Is this it? Is he going to say it back?_

"I'm glad you shared how you felt," he repeated, choosing his words carefully. "You've been bottling things up for a long time, about Africa and… and everything. It's about time something came to the surface. I'm proud of you."

This was not what she was hoping to hear, and she could tell that Jim was extremely uncomfortable with where this conversation had lead.

"Yeah," she said awkwardly.

"Well," he said after a moment of anxious silence. "I have to meet with Will about the running order for tonight, so…"

"Yes, we can… sure… okay," she fumbled her words as Jim awkwardly walked away.

The reality of it all suddenly dawned on Maggie, and it took all of her strength not to break down again in the middle of the newsroom floor. Jim wasn't in love with her, and things were never going to go back to the way they were.

* * *

It took about two months for Maggie to finally come to terms with the horrible feeling of having embarrassed herself in front of Jim on the roof that night. Things never really went back to normal, but at least they were speaking to each other on a daily basis.

It didn't feel natural yet like it had before, but she guessed that was to be expected. Hallie had apparently moved in with Jim and he seemed to be somewhat happy, though he kept his feelings in check while at work. She figured he didn't want to seem happy in front of her in order to spare her the pain of hearing about his perfect relationship while her life was a mess, for which she was more than grateful.

The show that night went smoothly, and almost everyone in the office had left about an hour ago. Maggie was staying late to make corrections on a piece that was going to be aired later in the week. She didn't mind staying late. It kept her away from her apartment, where things with Lisa still weren't completely better. She had told Lisa her story about what happened in Africa the night of the election, and her roommate seemed supportive and concerned. But Lisa was still mad at Maggie for using her when it came to Jim, and it was going to take time for things to heal entirely.

"Gather ye rosebuds."

"What?" Maggie said, startled and confused by Jim's sudden appearance beside her desk.

"That's what Mac told me to do. Gather my rosebuds."

"I know the poem. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because that's what she said to me the night that Lisa and I got back together. I was coming to your apartment to gather my rosebuds."

Maggie stared at him trying to figure out where this was going.

"You and I both know that I wasn't there to see Lisa," he continued, fueled by a passion that Maggie hadn't seen in him in a long time. It was like he was about to run out of breath and he needed to get all of this out before the air disappeared completely. "I was there to see you. I wanted to tell you… tell you that…" he was fumbling. He was nervous. Maggie didn't know whether to be excited or anxious about this.

Jim took a deep breath and looked straight into Maggie's eyes, which seemed to calm them both down instantly.

"It was you all along. You get that? I've wanted to be with you since the day I met you here. You're amazing, talented, smart, beautiful, funny... you're everything I want. You're the one I think about when I'm tired or stressed or in need of inspiration. I couldn't tell you this on the roof that night because I was with Hallie, and I felt so guilty because all I wanted to do when you told me you loved me was this– " In an instant, Jim launched forward and wrapped his arms around Maggie's waist, kissing her with a ferocity that made her fingers and toes tingle with excitement.

It wasn't just a kiss. It was years of history in the making, and it was owning up to it all. She didn't want to ever leave his arms again. She finally felt safe. That fleeting moment of pure happiness that she felt the last time they kissed filled her up this time with a ferocity that was almost more than she could handle.

They broke apart at last, and they both genuinely smiled for the first time in over a year.

"What about Hallie?" Maggie asked reluctantly, not really wanting to talk about her but knowing that she had to bring it up.

"I broke up with her a few weeks ago," Jim replied quietly. Maggie could feel her heart beating fast as he reached out and tucked a strand of her now shoulder-length blonde hair behind her ear. "It just wasn't right. I think she and I both knew that from the beginning. I met her when I was still trying to get over my feelings for you, and I guess those feelings just got buried and never really went away."

Maggie couldn't stop herself as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"What's the matter?" Jim asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"Nothing," she replied, hiccupping with her cries. "I just haven't been this happy in a really, _really_ long time."

He leaned in and kissed her again, this time tenderly and brief. She didn't know how he did it, but he always knew exactly how to calm her down.

Jim raised his hand to Maggie's face and wiped away her tears. "Come on," he said, reaching out for her hand. "Let's get out of here."

She wrapped her fingers around his while he grabbed her coat, and the two of them walked out of the building feeling more complete than they had ever felt before.


End file.
